When Your Heart Hurts

Receiving the news of the death of someone is never easy. Whether you are close friends or merely acquaintances; whether the news comes at the end of a long illness or as a complete surprise; whether they lived an exemplary life or spent their years as a prodigal; there is a finality in the news that they have died that feels like a punch to the gut.

Unfortunately, such news has become commonplace. Widespread disease, recklessness and distraction on our highways, armed conflict and terroristic attacks, outbursts of violence, and even personal despair take their toll on great numbers of people each and every day. At times, it can seem overwhelming.

Indeed, you may be tempted to adopt a strategy of denial. If you don’t think about it at all, maybe you can move on as though nothing significant really happened. While that might serve as an effective short-term strategy, it rarely proves helpful to becoming the kind of person God has created us to be.

Grief is a natural response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone who has died. While it has an emotional component, it involves every part of who we are as persons created to be in relationship with others. The process of grief involves not only mourning, but also the acknowledgement (even the celebration) of all blessings we received because we were together (if only briefly) in this life.

When David received the news that King Saul and his son, Jonathan, had been killed in battle; one might think that it would have been easy for him to discount the loss. After all, he and Saul had been at odds for quite some time; and his relationship with Jonathan had been deeply stressed. Nevertheless, David acknowledged the greatness he had witnessed in both of them, and gave thanks for all they had done for him and for the nation of Israel.

Having a heart for God means more than having the faith to face great challenges; it also means allowing yourself to feel the hurt of significant loss. It is a sign that we are not only grateful for the ways God blesses our lives through others, but also that we trust God to continue to bring people into our lives who will show us the promise and potential of a life well-lived.